Accountability

What I realized over the years is that not everyone is interested in change. People admitting that they have issues are rare. It took me some time to accept this fact being that I have a transparent personality. It was a mystery to me why a lot of folk are in denial about their shortcomings. Some of us either don’t know we have issues or in denial about our issues. It is a challenge for me to sustain a healthy relationship with people who fail to notice the part that they play in anything. I had to discontinue a few relationships with people who fail to take accountability for their own actions. Blaming others, shaming others, just being critical of things with a limited perception. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from people, places, and things that no longer serve us.

In order for me to restore, reevaluate, and realign myself I need to disconnect.  Folk who are unaware or pretend to be unaware of their own actions is a trigger for me. I’m open, honest, & willing. With that I need to be surrounded by people who are sensitive to my recovery process. I need constant inspiration, reassurance and compassion. Most of my pain began during my childhood years. I’m purposely selective. Just because people are friends are family does not mean they need to be a part of my life. This was tough for me at first due to nostalgic memories, however I realized that I could cherish positive memories and remember the good. It is our responsibility as adults to get any necessary help as needed. We need to know that ,growth is a vital part of being a human being.

I think that it is hustling backwards to be recovering meanwhile still be surrounded by people, places & things that make me sick. Forgiving someone does not mean going to be with them again in the physical form. It simply allows me to forgive myself and the part that I played and heal spiritually. I was strong enough to realize that I needed to create healthy boundaries. It felt good to take back my life. I’m not closed from the people I removed or altered communication with. I’m merely aware and alert to my needs and my peace of mind. If these so-called friends and family members ever choose to be accountable and get some professional help with their root issues, I will reconsider my relationship with them. Until then, I will carry on respectively.

This entry has been inspired by a Facebook friend who tagged me in a post regarding his struggle with mental health. I let him know that he is not alone. I simply reminded him that before we accept these labels, let us take a closer look at the people, places, & things that surround us daily. Sometimes being in an enviornment that is not supportive will make us feel like it’s our fault. When all the while some of us just haven’t been holding others accountable.

Peace.

#SparkPlenty

Fatima.

“Im not for any one; Im for every won”.

 

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